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If you've something to hide
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If you've changed your mind
I'm afraid it's too late
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In the system that
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"Macs are infinitely superior than their PC counterparts in more ways than just graphix design. You have no idea how many problems I had with my Dell PC before I switched to a Mac. Perfect real-life example: files being erased without my permission!!! One time I logged onto my email to check my horoscope from Yahoo, and I noticed that I got an email from a company I didn't recognize, but figured it'd have to be important. I clicked on the letter entitled "ViraLAX sample" (or something to that effect) and OMG: free penis enlargement pill samples! All I had to do was click the order form which was attached. It was a strange name (bunch of letters and numbers, probably a product code) but I downloaded it nonetheless and eagerly went to open it. But much to my dismay, it disappeared from my Windows desktop! I COULDN'T FIND THE FREAKING ORDER FORM!!!!! I download it again and it still didn't save!!! I tried downloading and downloading for hours and hours on end to get this form and it still wouldn't work! And THEN ON TOP OF THAT, MY SYSTEM STARTS RANDOMLY CRASHING ON ME!!! I go onto Internet Explorer and I start getting pop ups! It takes an extra three minutes to load things! Here's what really got me worked up though: I then I called up Dell tech support, explained my dilemma with this email, and demanded that they fix it and my computer for me and send me a free webcam for customer satisfaction. But the person on the other end was SO RUDE and actually suggested that I had downloaded a virus and that I had to run some "anti virus software" in order to fix the problem. WTF?!?! WHAT AN ARROGRANT PRICK! I was downloading a freaking order form and then they feed me THAT BULLSHIT ABOUT VIRUSES?!?!?! Maybe if they built their computers better THEY WOULDN'T GET VIRUSES!!!!!!!!! I'M JUST TRYNIG TO GET SOMETHING FROM AN ONLINE COMPANY AND THEY SCREW ME OVER WITH THEIR PATHETIC MACHIENS!!!!!! In my anger and frustration I deleted ALL MY EMAILS including all the emails I kept that were from my ex-girlfriend, ALL BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID MICROSOFT PC MACHINE. I cried for three nights straight when my TV showed a commercial of a nerdy PC and a really hip, cool looking Mac dude. It was a sign: the PC man was sick with viruses and the Mac man was great!!! Went to Carbon Computing conveniently located downtown, got me my new Power Mac and also a Macbook that the nice salesman told me it'd be very important to get so I can "interface" between the machines (it's like a Mac you can take with you, and it opens up: hence a Mac "book"! Very clever!). So I plugged it in, found the really easy to find power button (you have no idea how many times I couldn't find the button on my Dell!), turned it on, and was greeted with a big Apple symbol. Then I discovered how EASY IT WAS TO USE!!!!! I logged onto Safari (soooo much better than IE; you have no idea), and checked my email! The browser was SO MUCH FASTER THAN THE DELL! The Dell was an older model, but it's had about five years to break in. You'd think it'd be able to operate more smoothly now that the memories and gigahertz had broken in, but NOPE, this thing just decimates it!!! Checking email is so convenient on my Macbook when I go to Starbucks for my daily latte! I never received anymore emails from the company, but genital size matters not to me anymore: I'm part of the Mac nation and I couldn't be happier!!!!! I've already attended two Apple conventions and even got Steve Jobs (HE INVENTED APPLES!) to sign my Macbook!!!!!!! I waited for six hours in rainy weather, but it was totally worth it. I met lots of new friends, and checked out some new products like the "iPhone", a combination iPod, internet machine, and telephone! I'm paying off the Visa and Mastercard bills for my computers still so that will have to wait, but I can't wait for it.
Apple: you saved my life! Macs: they just work!"
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